If You Can Read This, You're Driving Too Badly

Years ago I remember seeing a new automotive product on TV.  It was a small sort of scrolling message board that you could fit in the back window of a car.  This was around the time that the third brake light was being introduced, so I think it was intended to act as a brake light too.  I'm not sure how you told it what to say; presumably a small keyboard.

It's probably fortunate they didn't catch on, as they'd be just one more distraction in a world where people have enough trouble concentrating on driving.  But I figured it might work if you could pre-program a few possible messages that you could call up when you need them.  I'd go with messages like, "Back off my ass," "Turn off your indicator," "Get off the damn phone," and "For God's sake, someone let me into that lane."

But the rear window message board would really be valuable if you could dictate the message to it.  Whatever you say comes out on the scroll for the driver behind to see.  I thought of this today when I felt the need to ask a driver why he had so much trouble staying in his lane going around turns.  You can't really anticipate the need for a message like that, especially if you want to address it to "Idiot in the white Escalade."

But the tragic flaw in this invention - which we can't overcome with any technology - is that it faces backwards.  Most of the people you want to complain about are in front of you.  Sure, you could pass them then flash the message, but once you pass someone, it's like they become someone else's problem.  You could put the board in your front window, and program it to go backwards so they can read it in their mirror.  But if the person in front of me looks in the mirror, the only thing I'd want to do is congratulate them.