Tattoo Who

I have no tattoos, and no plans to get any.  Yet, tattoos have become so common in our culture that I've asked myself what would I get.  I mean, what could there possibly be in the universe that is important enough to me that I would want to make a permanent commitment to it. (Why yes, I am single.)

I'm thinking about this because I saw something about a Walmart employee who got the Walmart logo tattooed on his arm.  You might laugh at him for that, but at least he's made a commitment to something that's important to him, which is more thought than usually goes into tattoos.  I'm not sure Walmart has as much commitment to him, but that could be part of his plan: it would be terrible publicity to lay-off the guy who got a company tattoo, so his job is safe.

Rarely have I ever felt that kind of unreserved belonging in a group.  And as I'm sure this blog has shown, I frequently end up disappointed in people and things.  I've never loved, say, a TV show enough to want to put it on my body.  Sports teams are out; I may allow them to play with my emotions, but I remind myself that they have no dedication to me.  Essentially, I treat them like cats.  I don't even feel a close enough affinity to a particular idea, as these people do with math. I had thought that the only thing I feel a complete love for is Lego, and now I see that they screwed over Ai Weiwei.

(Having said that, here are some Lego tattoos I just found.)

So that's it.  Unless I decide to just get a big question mark, I don't think I'll ever get a tattoo.  Or I'll just tell people that I got a tattoo of the blank space that represents my ultimate disappointment with modern society.

I See Great Pain In Your Future

So I just saw this story about a plastic surgeon in Japan who will alter the lines in your palm so that your fortune will be more desirable. (Warning: the link is predictably gross.)  But wait, there's more: the lines are made by burning them in.  Rather than go on a big rant, I'll just invite you to meditate on all the layers of stupidity that are present in this story.  Keep in mind that it could all turn out to be a hoax, so you can add cruel Internet hoaxes and the fact that we can no longer tell satire from reality as two more layers.

But just so you don't go away with no faith in humanity, here's a link about how an old Walmart in McAllen, Texas was turned into America's largest one-floor library.