Smoke 'Em Whether Or Not You Got 'Em

There should be some sort of non-smoking equivalent of smoking. That is, we should have an excuse to go outside too. Often, during a break in any sort of job or event, I find myself waiting for the smokers to do their thing.  I do my best to waste time until they get back, say by using the bathroom or getting a drink.  But it never quite fills the time.

You have to admit that if you look past the whole decreased-life-expectancy thing, smoking has its uses. It's an excuse to take a break; it's an excuse to go outside. But it also has less obvious benefits. I noticed when working in an office that the strongest personal connections between people in different departments were between smokers. After all, they'd spent plenty of time together.  When groups had to work together, they often communicated using those smoking-based relationships rather than the ones set out in the corporate hierarchy.

So we should create a similar vice. One that's not bad for our health of course. But it has to be something that requires going outside. Maybe burning incense? Some sort of skin treatment requiring a portable sauna?

I don't know why smokers would give all this up by using e-cigarettes. But if smokers are going to be encroaching on non-smokers' turf, it's only fair that it goes both ways.

Conform to My Stereotypes, Dammit!

Today I saw a guy driving one of those new electric mopeds, while smoking.  Which seemed odd.  Oh, I should explain, yes it was a cigarette.  Pot on an electric scooter I could see.  But tobacco, that's weird on so many levels.

• He's polluting more than the bike is.
• He's concerned about the well-being of the planet, but not himself or those around him.
• The bike had a warning buzzer so pedestrians could hear the otherwise silent vehicle coming.  So he is concerned about the safety of people around him, but only in front of him.

If he was on a Harley, say, then having a cigarette hanging off his lips would look a little more fitting.  And yes, I can see it's far safer to smoke on something electric than a gasoline-powered vehicle.  Which brings up the next paradox: he was wearing a helmet.  These things are legally bicycles, so he doesn't even have to be wearing it.  If he's smoking to look cool, he could do a lot more by dropping the helmet.  If he's wearing the helmet for safety, he could do a lot more by quitting smoking.