Uncelebrated Celebrities

I'm not one to read supermarket tabloids.  But I do always scan them at the checkout.  I guess I like to keep track of certain things:

• Who is popular
• Who is trying to make a comeback
• Has Cosmo finally run out of sex tips yet

What I've always found odd are the arbitrary rules of which celebrities are tabloid fodder and which are not.  You can be a pretty big star without appearing on magazines.  A lot of it is of course the star's own behaviour: there's no mystery why Tom Cruise has been on more covers than Tom Hanks.

This strange, uneven respect given to celebrities has never been more apparent than the cover of People.  Among the items on the cover is a blurb saying that Avril Lavigne is engaged.  There's no mention at all of whom she's engaged to.  As you've likely heard, her non-cover-worthy fiancé is Chad Kroeger, singer-songwriter for Nickelback. 

I'll probably lose my membership in the International Siblinghood of Hipsters for defending Nickelback, but that does strike me as quite a slap in the face.  Especially since he's still selling music, while she's been reduced to being one of these lukewarm musicians who's worn out her welcome at home but is sustained by album sales around the world where they're still not tired of her.  But I can understand why she gets the cover: Lavigne's teen and tween fans from her most successful years are just entering their prime People-buying years now.  On the other hand, There can't be much crossover between People readership and Nickelback listenership.  Well, you might assume that, but right there on the other side of the checkout was a UFC magazine.