Yes! Deer!

Now there's a new zodiac based on native North American spirituality. That's great to see. I'd much rather base my life on misinterpretations of ancient spirituality that's been produced locally. Those Greek pictures in the sky never did me any good.

So apparently - in the new zodiac - I'm a deer. That's odd; I don't think I have much of a connection to deer, other than a childhood affinity for Bambi. But I do like their description of me: "The Deer is inspiring lively and quick-witted. With a tailor-made humour...this combined with his/her natural intelligence make the Deer a must-have guest at dinner parties."

So now I'll have a new smart-ass answer for "what's your sign?" I will no longer say, "a neon sign that reads 'I don't believe in Astrology.'" Now I will say, "I'm a deer." I'm not sure how they'll react:

• "You mean Capricorn? Isn't that a goat?"
• "Which Chinese restaurant do you go to? I don't remember seeing 'deer' on my place-mat."
• "That's not a sign."

And I can just react to that last one with, "Yes it is, you Eurocentric clod."