You Need More Sports You've Never Heard Of

After a week of the Winter Olympics, I've got some ideas for new sports:

Downhill Biathlon

The biathlon is interesting, but it would be nice of it was faster. It would also be better if you don't stop to do the shooting. Think of the challenge of shooting at targets as you go by at high speed. Unfortunately, it would be too dangerous to have any spectators on site.

No-Landing Freestyle

This kind of goes for gymnastics too. It's so disappointing when someone does an impressive jump but fails to stick the landing. That's especially when the difference between winning and losing might be some minor thing like keeping their feet together. So let's have a class of freestyle where there's no judging on the landing. It's full marks for quintuple spinning cartwheel, even if you face-plant right after.

Long Short-Track Speed Skating

That is, speed skating on the long track, but with the short track's rules (or lack thereof.) To put it another way, short track is like a stock car race, so this would be like a super speedway race. Oh, and we should have banked turns, like a velodrome.

"Skate" Boarding

When it comes to the "sliding" sports, we've already covered the idea of going down hill on your back, feet first (luge) on your front, head first (skeleton) and seated (bobsled.) Any other combinations would just be silly (say, head first on your back.) The only other possibility I can think of is to go down the track standing on the sled. It would be like a skate board, but with actual skates. At the very least, Shaun White won't think slopestyle is dangerous anymore.

Universal Skiing

There's already a sport called Nordic Combined, in which competitors do a ski jump one day, and cross country skiing the next day. I say, let's take it even further by including downhill skiing. And let's take it even further than that, by having the competitors do each leg one after another, like a triathlon. You cross-country ski up the mountain, then turn and ski down the mountain, and so a jump off a ramp at the end.