Not-So Popular Opinions

It's pretty universally acknowledged that image plays too big a part of modern politics. But what I find frustrating is that to most people, "image" in politics means excessive, unreal polish. It's a guy like John Edwards and his $400 haircut.  But really, the most damaging manipulation of image by politicians is in those that don't seem like they have an image. Those that have carefully built up a facade resembling an average person.

The Toronto Star has a good article eviscerating this idea of the populist, everyman politician. It's a sort of advance post-mortem on Rob Ford's mayorality (I guess that would be a pre-mortem.)

However, I would criticize it on a couple of points. First, it does spend a surprising amount of time on Ronald Reagan. I'm not a fan of his, but with newer and clearer examples of the fake populist, all that Ronnie-targeting comes across as unresolved issues on the part of the writer.  And secondly, when it comes to municipal politicians who get a pass from the media and public thanks to a folksy image, they have a great local example in Mississauga's Hazel McCallion.  But unlike Ford, a large segment of the Star's readership still love her, so they don't have the courage to call her out.

Things I Should Like But Don't

I often fit neatly into stereotypes of subcultures, most notably geek and hipster, as I've referred to before.  Yet, there are times I don't even fit into the stereotypical expectations of a person like me.  In this new semi-regular feature, I'll explore people, places, and things that a person like me should like, but I don't.  I don't usually hate these things, I just don't like them.

I Should Like:

Will Ferrell

Why should I like him?

He takes a more understated approach to comedy than the goofy, mean-spirited clowning that's become the norm.

Why don't I like him?

I'm not entirely sure.  For one thing, people who never drop their persona have always creeped me out (Jack Black and Bill Murray could make the list too.)  But I think a big part of it is that he has somehow set himself up with such a reputation for being funny that he doesn't really have to do anything any more.  Just going through the motions of appearances is enough to make audiences laugh hysterically.  Good for him, but I just don't enjoy watching it.

Do These Pants Make Me Look Obscure?

For this week's Sunday night NFL game, the Pittsburgh Steelers wore replicas of their original uniforms.  In honour of their eightieth anniversary, they broke out uniforms they would normally never be caught dead in, with yellow and brown horizontal striped shirts and socks, and light beige pants that did not compliment an offensive lineman's physique. 

This isn't unusual.  They're usually known as "throwback" uniforms.  Throughout the sports world, fashion crimes are committed in the name of nostalgia.  Here are some recommendations to improve future throwbacks.

They should be about nostalgia, not trivia

A lot of NFL teams are guilty of this, since their histories usually started long before the sport got national exposure.  So you have, say, the Broncos showing up in brown uniforms that no one remembers.  The New York Jets had a long obsession with the fact that they were originally called the Titans.  I don't know why anyone would care: the Titan uniforms were ugly, there's already a team called the Titans, and nobody cared about the team back then.  I'm sure the Jets played a few games before they upset Baltimore in Super Bowl III, it's just that no one cares that they did.  Which brings me to the next point:

Don't Throw Back if you have nothing to Throw Back To.

Take the Pittsburgh Penguins.  Apparently there was an organization in Pittsburgh called the "Penguins" dating back to the late sixties.  But as far as anyone cares, they came into being in the summer of 1984 when they drafted Mario Lemieux.  Yet, every year they play in ugly blue uniforms that harken back to when the team was terrible and no one came to see their games.

Be Fair and Throw Back to All Eras

By exclusively using retro uniforms from the sixties and earlier, you're just indulging the Baby Boomers.  Why not have retro seventies and eighties uniforms too?  Because they're ugly, sure.  Blue Jays, Buccaneers, you've done it, now how about the Astros, White Sox and Padres.  Canucks, even I won't ask for your yellow uniforms, but how about the black "V" shirts?

Make it Worth It

My own St. Louis Rams are guilty of this, using throwback uniforms to their lone Super Bowl championship.  Thing is, that was only twelve years ago, and the uniforms they used then were pretty much the same as their current ones, but with gaudier colours.  If you don't have anything to go back to, why not make something up?   Just put together some random shades of brown and beige, and it will probably still end up looking better than most alternate uniforms.

I'm Really Wired

Here are the chargers for my phone, tablet, and e-reader.

I realized that I haven't bothered to separate the wires for at least a week: since I know what each end looks like.  So when I need to charge something, I just search for the two ends I need and plug them in.

Fittingly, The Blue Jays' Fate Depends On Someone Saying, "OK"

This week, the Toronto Blue Jays agreed to a massive trade with the Miami Marlins, bringing in several star players for surprisingly little cost.  It has Jays fans like myself feeling a very strange sensation we haven't had in years - what was it called again? - ah yes: optimism.

But baseball commissioner Bud Selig has been taking his time approving the trade, which has people nervous.  Yes, it's probably just because it is a spectacularly large trade that will take a while to check for crossed T's and dotted I's.  But still, baseball trades are usually just rubber stamped by the league office, so some people - particularly Marlins fans - are thinking he might actually be thinking about rejecting it.

No pressure Mr. Selig, but we will hunt you down if you reject this trade.  Yes, it may seem like this trade was a one-sided money shift which detracts from the purity of the game.  And you might be surprised that I do have sympathy for the Marlins and their fans; their seemingly promising team is now back to rebuilding mode, with no hope of competitiveness for years.

But the purity-of-the-game/fair-to-the-fans ship sailed a long time ago.  Yes, you could cancel the trade because it's all about money.  But there have been hundreds of salary dumps, rent-a-player deals, and stratospheric free-agent signings over the years.  If you were going to stop it, there have been plenty of chances over the past couple of decades.

Even you Marlins fans have to agree.  Yes, it may seem like you just traded half your team for two prospects and a homophobic shortstop.  But the fact is your team did essentially buy two World Series titles.  You live by the dollar, you die by the dollar.

Baseball decided years ago on a laissez-faire set-up for its economics.  You may or may not like that - I don't; I'd rather have an over-centralized, enforced-equality, semi-socialist system like the NFL - but that is the way things have been for years, and it's not fair to change the game on us now, just when it's going our way.

A Horse On The Force Is A Horse, Of Course

The local police force has a couple of horses, and today they showed up on a street I was walking down.  I didn't see the horses themselves, but - how to put this delicately - I saw evidence that a horse had recently been there.  Or a large and unwell dog; I hope it was a horse.

This isn't even the first time I've seen the unpleasant remnants of the police horses' presence.  And it has me asking, isn't there a law against allowing a large mammal to take a dump on a public street?  I mean, we have stoop-and-scoop laws. 

See, it was a little controversial when they first got the horses a few years ago.  Yes, there are some areas where horses are very useful, such as crowd control.  But we don't have a lot of use for them here, and there are of course some start-up costs associated with getting your first police horses, like getting a stable.  Thus, many suspected it was just because someone at the police department wanted a horse. 

So I have to ask, how many crimes do you suppose the horses have prevented, and does it exceed the number of "crimes" the horses have deposited on the streets?

A Reassuring Thought

McDonald's has had "third pounder" burgers for a while now.  Of course, that can lead one to be cynical about western diets, since the quarter pounder was apparently not enough anymore.  And in that cynical vein, it occurred to me to wonder how many customers choose the quarter pounder over the third pounder, wrongly thinking ¼ is bigger than ⅓.

But then I realized: This is McDonald's.  They would never introduce a sandwich without researching and focus-grouping it within an inch of its life.  If they think people will know that third-pound burgers are bigger, it's because they've done the research behind it.  So it's undeniable: North American consumers understand basic fractions.

Still no idea what the Third Pounders are called in Europe.  For that, we'll have to wait for the Pulp Fiction sequel, and that will have to wait until Quentin Tarantino sells the rights to Disney.  Okay, I've crossed the line from "blogging" to "stream of consciousness," time to go.