Daydream on Elm Street

Hey everyone, it's crappy movie time!  See, the summer is dedicated to blockbusters.  Quality movies come out in the fall, so they're still memorable to Oscar voters.  Family movies get released in time for the holidays.  But lately there are so many blockbusters that they enter the theatres in the spring in the hope of a really long run.  Lots of Oscar bait makes a token appearance in December to qualify for that year's awards, then gets wider release in early January.  All this means that the second half of January until the start of March is the only time the studios have to dump their worst stuff.  For the next few weeks, we'll be treated to the flicks that were only just better than direct-to-video.  Or direct-to-Netflix or whatever they say now.

And sure enough, here comes Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters.  Yes, a grown-up action-horror movie based on the old story.  One article I just read on it says there is a comedy angle to it, which could make this concept work.  But the ad I saw didn't seem to convey that, so I'm not holding my breath. 

Regardless of whether it's any good or not, it's perhaps the most extreme example yet of the darkening of pop-culture.  It seems like any long running franchise gets a little darker, more violent, grittier every time it's reinvented.  I don't mind any of those qualities, but it's getting a little tiresome, especially when it's getting applied to what our society knows as children's stories.  What's next?

• The Cat In The Hat reimagined as a supernatural, half-man-half-tiger killing machine
• Thomas the Tank Engine as a horror movie about machines coming to life and turning on their owners
• Where the Wild Things Are: the movie just writes itself
• Let's not even think of The Very Hungry Catepillar
• Or the Muppets.

You'd think there'd be a market for taking stories the other way: after all, more people can get in to see family movies.  Come on Hollywood, let's see a Cujo reboot.