This Post is in 3DD, But Better than that Piranha Movie

It seems like there have been a lot of TV commercials promoting Designated Drivers.  In particular, it's not the usual guilt trip of "have a designated driver or you'll kill someone."  Now it's more like, "be a Designated Driver and you can still have a good time."  I'm not sure that's the best way to promote it.

I've never been much of a drinker, so I've been a Designated Driver more times than I can remember.  I won't say you can't have fun as a DD, but it's not quite as simple as they show in the ads.  No, I'm not saying you need alcohol to have a good time.  It's just hard to have fun as the only sober person in your group.  Or, to put it another way, it would be no problem to be a DD and have a great time if you were driving for the drinkers you see in beer commercials.  You know, the guys who are acting pretty normal, just a little happier and more at ease.

But that's not usually the case in real life.  There, the DD is chaperoning people who have been drinking all night.  You're not the Designated Driver so much as the Designated Herder.  Now that's a lonely feeling: being the only one in the car who can put together a complete sentence.

If they really want to promote Designated Drivers, they should give tips on how you and your, um, Undesignated Drinkers can make the evening more enjoyable.  Here's my contribution:  There are bars that sober people can enjoy (there are tables and chairs, nice decor, a noise level conducive to talking) and there are bars that only drunk people can enjoy (bare-bones decor, nothing to do but dance, and you have to scream into someone's ear to talk.)  You may start at the first type of bar, but half-way through the evening, the drunk people will start talking about going to a new bar.  Without exception, it will be the other kind of bar, because that's what appeals to drunk people.  But the DD - not being a drinker - won't know that.

So how about rating bars by who the target market is.  Say, a sign at the entrance saying, "You must be at least this drunk to enter."  So you know those are the bars you only go to if you're willing to spring for a taxi.  Or they could have a "Sober Room" where Designated Drivers can talk, or play chess, or watch Downton Abbey or something.