Scar Tissue

Lately we've been hearing a lot about the "Alt-Right," which is the extreme subset of conservatism that's more harshly anti-immigrant, if not straight-up white supremacist. The term has been used online for a while, since that's where the ideology is most active. But in the past year, Donald Trump has become a real-world hero for the movement.  And Trump's hiring of Breitbart News' chairman Stephen Bannon was seen as an attempt to cosy-up to the Alt-Right.

Of course, as a child of the late-eighties-early-nineties, I still associate "alt" and "alternative" with artistic non-conformity.  Yes, I know, the term is to "indie" what "dungarees" is to "jeans." But it's still the word I grew up with, and frankly, it's more descriptive, given that "independent" things can be conformist, and there are occasional acts of rebellion from members of the mainstream.  But I digress: The point is, that whenever I hear about the Alt-Right, I picture brooding young conservatives, protesting outside an abortion clinic in their wild hair and dark clothes, maybe wearing an Augusto Pinochet t-shirt.

But speaking of conservatives and old alternative rock, Fox News host Greg Gutfeld got noticed this week when he let loose a tirade against the Red Hot Chili Peppers.  First of all, this started because of a news story about their bassist, Flea, giving music lessens to Koko, the Gorilla famous for learning sign language.  That's pretty amazing on a bunch of levels to begin with, but Gutfeld used it as an opportunity to launch into an attack on the Chili Peppers.  He even continued the attack on a later show.  What's also strange is that both times Gutfeld spoke about the issue as though the band has a with-us-or-against-us rivalry with Faith No More, their early-90's contemporaries.

Again, that's weird on many levels. First, I don't know why you would see them as a dichotomy.  They aren't similar enough to have a Beatles-vs.-Dave-Clark-Five rivalry, nor were they different enough to have a Rockers-vs.-Mods style rivalry.  And since the Red Hot Chili Peppers have been highly and consistently popular, while Faith No More have been an experimental cult band, there's really no reason to see them as parallels to one another. Okay, a scan of Wikipedia shows that the bands' singers hate each other.  (Currently, the entry on the feud includes a note on Gutfeld's outburst, with a complete transcript, but I assume that will be edited out by the time you click on the link.) But still, I don't see the need for a fan to carry that anger for a quarter-century.  Even Dave Grohl and Courtney Love made nice in the end.

I suppose there are situations where musicians can represent different personalities or ways of looking at the world. Quentin Tarantino apparently believes that everyone is either a Beatles person or an Elvis person, and I have to say that does kind of make sense. But I don't think you can really divide humanity using these two.  Though that idea brings me to the most disturbing part of this story: I'd have to go along with Greg Gutfeld and choose Faith No More.  I don't have anything against Red Hot Chili Peppers, especially now that I know about their attempts at primate outreach. But forced to choose, I'd be at the Faith No More concert, even now that I know I'll be surrounded by Fox News personalities.

So what is it with conservatives and early-nineties alternative hard rock/hip hop fusion artists?  In the last election cycle, Paul Ryan claimed his favourite band is Rage Agains The Machine?  If it turns out that Megyn Kelly is into Pop Will Eat Itself, it will destroy my image of the world.