Eighters Gonna Eight

I see Niagara Falls has a campaign on to get named as the eighth wonder of the world. Normally I'm supportive of this nearby landmark. Having grown up with it, I don't find out as awe-inspiring as some. But I do love how it so seamlessly blends natural beauty, dignified spectacle, and the downright cheesy.

However, I can't support this campaign. For illustration, here is the original list of wonders:

Original Seven Wonders

• Great Pyramid of Giza
• Hanging Gardens of Babylon
• Statue of Zeus at Olympia
• Temple of Artemis at Ephesus
• Mausoleum at Halicarnassus
• Colossus of Rhodes
• Lighthouse of Alexandria

There have been many newer attempts to make a list. Probably the biggest was from a Swiss group in 2007. Here's the list they came up with:

New Seven Wonders

• Great Wall of China
• Petra, Jordan
• Christ the Redeemer, Rio
• Machu Picchu
• Chichen Itza, Mexico
• Roman Colosseum
• Taj Mahal

plus the Great Pyramid of Giza was an honorary member as the only remaining member of the original seven.

What do they all have in common? They're all artificial. Specifically, they are all amazing, awe-inspiring structures, things that make you wonder how they were built, and hopefully not realize that the answer is usually, "slaves."

This seems to be a problem for Canadians in general. While that 2007 list was being compiled, the CBC had their own campaign to get people to nominate their choices for the seven wonders of Canada. Here's their list:

Seven Wonders of Canada

• The Canoe
• The Igloo
• Niagara Falls
• Old Quebec
• Pier 21, Halifax
• Prairie Skies
• The Rockies

So three are natural, two are just general items, and only two actually fit the original pattern of notable structures. And neither of them is really that wondrous, but just historic.

To be clear, I've got nothing against a country defining its identity through nature or common experiences rather than expensive showing-off. Actually it’s quite impressive: Honestly, how many countries could get to our level of prosperity and only feel the need to build one totally phallic megastructure.

But that doesn't mean you can just change the topic when people are discussing something else. If I'm asked to name my proudest athletic achievement, I can't just start talking about getting 100% on a math test, even if I've decided that's more important to me.

So I’d like to see a list of artificial Canadian wonders, even if it turns out to be less impressive than the natural ones. It turns out Toronto Star Architecture & Urban Planning critic Christopher Hume has already made his own such list. It doesn't make direct reference to nature-centred efforts to define us, but does seem conscious of that tendency of ours.

So here’s my list:

• CN Tower
• Trans-contenental railroad
• St. Lawrence Seaway
• Confederation Bridge
• L’Anse aux Meadows
• Château Frontenac
• Stanley Park Totem Poles

Just so you know, the same people who came up with the New Seven Wonders also had a list of seven natural wonders:

• Iguazu Falls, Argentina and Brazil
• Jeju Island, South Korea
• Komodo Island, Indonesia
• Puerto Princesa Underground River, Philippines
• Table Mountain, Cape Town
• Halong Bay, Vietnam
• Amazon Rainforest, South America

How the hell did the Great Barrier Reef not make it? Anyway, the only Canadian thing on the short list was the Bay of Fundy.