Take My Name, Take My Name

A lot of people are talking about actress Zoe Saldana getting married, and her husband taking her last name, rather than vice versa. That’s pretty controversial, and it’s great for our modern media, since it’s something they can talk about without doing any research or delivering any facts. Just run down all the possible reactions people have to it, and that’s considered enough. Though I am surprised none of the news stories have mentioned that there's already a male celebrity who took his wife's last name. I'll give the answer at the end.

Is amusing that this is such an unusual thing that the media isn't sure how to report on it. I just read an article reporting that Marco Perego changed his name. I believe that should be, "Marco Saldana, nee Perego." Seriously, you reported that a man changed his name, using his old name.

I'm actually pretty surprised that the wife-taking-the-husband's-name tradition is still as strong as it is. I never would have believed that we'd have gay marriage at a time when it's still expected that women take the man's name. For that matter, there seems to be more open vitriol and debate over a man changing his name than changing his gender.

It's not just the tradition’s longevity that surprises me, it's the enthusiasm with which it is still enforced. I've seen women get quite upset with women who don't take their husband's name. I've heard of businesses that automatically change a woman's name in their contact info when she gets married; they find they gave less anger from women about the automatic change than they get from women annoyed the change wasn't automatically acknowledged.

So why is it still going strong? It could be self-perpetuating: as long as women think of their name as belonging to their father, the less attached they are to it. And one could argue that a marrying woman is choosing between her father’s name and her husband’s, so neither is really a unique part of her identity. I haven’t talked to many women about this, but what I have heard - and read in a brief online search - is that there aren’t many deep explanations of why women change their name. It seems that the costs of changing your name are small, so if the expectation is that you will take the husband’s name unless you have a good reason not to, then you probably will. While the man will keep his name, because he doesn't have a reason not to.  Unless you're Jack White, then you'll take Meg's name.