Why She Had To Go, I Don’t Know

Today I saw odd news of a lawsuit over the movie Yesterday. The problem is that there was a trailer for the film that included a scene with Ana de Armas, but she wasn’t in the movie at all, and now a couple of viewers are suing.

First, take this with a grain of salt: although some outlets reporting it as the studio “losing” the lawsuit, what actually happened is that the studio tried to get the lawsuit dismissed on the grounds that movie trailers are themselves an art form and thus protected by freedom of speech. But the judge ruled that the trailers are just commercials, and thus subject to false-advertising laws, so the trial can begin. But that trial itself has not been decided.

This is one of those case where I don’t know who to cheer for. On the one hand, this is a classic case of America’s litigation culture. Two people rented a movie for $3.99 and are now suing for $5 million. That’s both excessive and super creepy that they think watching Ana de Armas in a supporting role is worth $5 million. But on the other hand, I am — along with many others — really sick of misleading trailers. To be fair, this wasn’t a case of a pre-planned bait-and-switch; de Armas was supposed to be in the movie, but test audiences really hated the subplot she was a part of, so the final cut axed it entirely. But the movie studios have really strained people’s trust for years, and it would be nice if something curtailed that.

It’s just unfortunate how these things so often become all-or-nothing. Yes, it would be nice if studios paid the price for false advertising, but not one studio paying the price for an incident which wasn’t the most egregious example. And it would be nice for movie watchers to get justice, but not a reward for an excessive lawsuit that looks like a disturbing celebrity fixation. The ideas would be some sort of treaty between moviegoers and studios: you start making more honest trailers, and we won’t unleash the Stan army and their lawyers on you.

Boards Of Canada

There’s been a big change in hockey broadcasting this season: virtual board ads. That is, TV broadcasters can now superimpose fake ads over the real-life ads on the boards. This gives them a chance to do many previously impossible things, like animated ads, or changing ads during play.

Fans are pretty angry. I know, it’s something new in hockey, of course they don’t like it. But in this case, they’re crying wolf with justification. It is pretty annoying. Yes, the advertisers are on their best behaviour, keeping movement to a minimum, but we’ll see how long that lasts. We’ve seen some of the distracting sideline advertising in soccer, and that can’t be far away.

Though I have a couple more complaints: first, this suffers from the same problem as the virtual ads behind home plate in baseball; no concern for insulting our intelligence with geographically-unlikely ads. Like yes, I’m sure Tim Hortons really did pay for a stadium ad at this game in San Diego.

Also, the tech is apparently expensive enough that they can only apply it to the one camera. Switch to a close up, and we have to suffer the old analog boards. I don’t know about anyone else, but I find it disorienting when I see a player pasted against the Hyundai sign, but then from the other angle, he gets a face full of Dunkin’ Donuts.

Having said all this, I have to admire how well it works: 

• They stay in place very accurately, unlike the on-field ads in the CFL, which — hate to say it — look pretty amateurish, sliding and spinning  around the field.
• They rarely bleed over top of player uniforms, even white ones, unlike the on-court ads I’ve seen in basketball.
• Unlike virtual ads in baseball, they don’t suffer from looking crystal-clear, on a field that we’re viewing through 400 feet of rain. Although they sometimes look unnaturally bright, almost like they’re lit up. 

It’s also strange how technology doesn’t work out the way we expect. Soccer and the CFL have had electronic ad boards on the sidelines for years, and I assumed it was only a matter of time until someone made a version of those screens that was durable and flexible enough to be used as hockey boards. But no, virtual technology swoops in for the win. Somewhere out there is an engineer with a half-finished flexible LED panel and a broken heart.

All I Used To Want For Christmas

 If I’m reviving my blog, I guess I will also have to do another of my annual complaints about Christmas overload. I’d do my usual attempt to prove that I’m not some hateful curmudgeon who rejects all the spirit of the holiday, that it’s not me, it’s just unreasonable to for anyone to be expected to have a holiday force-fed into your brain for two months like something out of A Clockwork Orange. Wait, have I already used that analogy to describe it? Dang, I used it in 2016.

This year, I can get across the concept by telling the anecdote of how I had a wonderful stroll through the Wal-Mart Christmas department, revelling in the fun, low-pressure enjoyment of exploring all the decorations. I don’t even care that it’s mass-manufactured, commercialized cheapness; that’s part of the magic of Christmas. I walked out feeling full of Christmas spirit, but also feeling like I’d had my fill. And then I remembered that it was only mid-November. 

Anyway, that’s what I would have written, except that, I don’t really feel overwhelmed by Christmas this year. I’m not haunted by cheap plastic decorations everywhere. My brain isn’t involuntarily reciting carols every waking hour.

And it’s not hard to see why: I’m just not out in public as much. Doing more things online, and more shopping online in particular, I’m not exposed to mandatory Christmas cheer anymore. And is it just my imagination, or is it less ubiquitous now? It seems like decorations are more restrained now. Maybe all of society has turned down the intensity after Covid. Or maybe it’s another part of the Great Resignation: if a company can’t find enough under-paid workers to do the basic work of the business, then they definitely can’t spare the hours to have someone hunt down the inflatable Santa out of the storage room.

So this is a case of the modern world fulfilling its promise: More activities on the Internet allow us more freedom to create a life for ourselves that is unique to our needs and desires. Is it worth the hollowing-out of the retail sector? No, but it’s something to be thankful for the next time you’re browsing Amazon listening to your own music.