I don't really hate them. A part of me is fascinated by the idea that we could be developing a new interlingual pictogram writing system. And I'm pleasantly surprised at the development of the eggplant emoji; that showed a subtlety I didn't think society was capable of.
But ultimately, I don’t like the inelegance of it. I appreciate things that have a few simple components that can be assembled in a variety of ways, as a challenge to creativity (say, Lego.) I also appreciate things that are so varied and complex that they give rise to virtually endless possibilities and ultimate personalization (say, the Web.) But emojis fall in the anti-sweet-spot between those two possibilities. They're varied enough that they don't really take creativity to use, but limited enough that they can't express individuality.
And before you reach for counter-examples, yes, I know that there are some epic examples of expression through emoji. I saw that tweet where Kyle McLachlan explained the entire plot of Dune in emojis.
🌏💧✋🕋🗡🚀🏜☀️🌡🌶💯🚱⏳🌅🌑😡💉😱😈💀💥🌛🌙🐭💥🚶🏻〰🐛️⌛️👳🙏💥😴🛌😳💥🐛💥👊⚔👑 #dune https://t.co/bXwpdYC8jz— Kyle MacLachlan (@Kyle_MacLachlan) August 16, 2016
But here's the biggest problem I have with emojis: I miss smileys. I loved their simplicity, the challenge of making punctuation look human. I also appreciated the subtlety: None of the overacting we get from emojis. It was just a humble little facial expression, conveyed with minimalist cuteness by the technological descendant of the "Have a Nice Day" face.
Remember how there was so much concern over not having black faces in emojis? No need to worry about that with smileys. They don’t have enough detail to tell what race/gender they are. The smiley is the only true post-race character. It smiles for all of us.
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