Um, well, I've played Minesweeper since it came out a quarter-century ago. And actually I do know what I'm doing. I see "1-2-1" and "1-2-2-1" combos in my sleep. I completed the expert level in 2:19. In that one game in the image that just started, I can already see where half the mines are without even thinking about it. It's all I can do to stop myself from instinctively clicking on the image.
I'm not bragging, nor am I making fun of anyone who isn't very good at the game; I'm sure you instead used your early adulthood to acquire social skills. I'm just kind of surprised at how these jokes are so confidently assuming that everyone is with them on this. Yeah, I know, they don't literally mean that "no one" knows how to play; it's like if you say no one understands their tax return, it doesn't mean that you are oblivious to the existence of tax accountants.
If someone were joking about frustrations at golf, they wouldn't imply that everyone is just randomly choosing clubs and hoping for the best. Sure, many people do struggle, but it's well known that some people are really good at golf. Minesweeper isn't televised (despite my letters to ESPN on the subject) but I thought it was well known that there are a fair number of people who are good at Minesweeper - I knew a guy who did the expert in 1:39. And the one time I did try to brag to a friend about a new personal best, he shot me down saying patiently, "yes, I am aware that some people have very fast times on Minesweeper." I wasn't offended - I was quite impressed at how efficiently defused my attempt at one-upmanship. I've used that technique many times since then when people attempt to brag about achievements at something I have chosen not to pursue, such as golf or social skills.
So if you try to reassure yourself about your Minesweeper skills by seeking company in that concern, realize that it's just not going to work. Just accept that for pretty much any challenge, someone out there is good at it or obsessed with it.
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