A Fast Car From China

In a previous post, I discussed my inability to find a car company that could be a lifestyle statement. Though one of the leading candidates was Volvo. Their combination of unapologetic dorkiness, and design appealed to me. But that discussion was limited to practical cars.

In the impractical car category, I've always appreciated Lotus. I know, their cars are cheaper and less powerful than most dream cars, since they go for small and light, rather than big and brawny. But small and clever overcoming strong and dumb is my fantasy, so Lotus embodies it better than some expensive behemoth that they crammed a huge engine into. And I figure that I might as well take advantage of being able to fit in tiny, lightweight cars.

Now here's the interesting part: Volvo and Lotus have one more thing in common besides quirkiness and my fandom. They're also owned by the same company: China's Geely, who have owned Volvo for a few years now, and recently bought Lotus.

Like many western car fans, to me, Chinese manufacturers are this unknown amorphous blob. We've heard various things about them ripping off foreign designs, building small but unexciting cars, and occasionally funding oddball companies. And there's a general assumption that they'll eventually burst forth, start exporting to Europe and the Americas, and destroy everything in their path. Or maybe they'll discover that the West's preference for cheapness over quality doesn't extend to automobiles.

Anyway, the point is that we don't really have any reason to have an opinion on the Chinese manufacturers. That may seem obvious, but car fandom is all about rivalries. You're expected to have opinions on Ford vs Chevy, Porsche vs Ferrari, Bentley vs Rolls Royce, VW Beetle vs Citroen 2CV, Delorean vs Bricklin, Subaru WRX vs Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution etc. It honestly feels weird to see cars and not have an opinion on them.

But now that's changing. I'd already noticed that Geely seemed to have done a good job with Volvo, a company that had been struggling to compete with the world's big luxury brands. Normally, when one car company buys another, it goes wrong in one of three ways: They integrate the small company into the big one lose what was special about it, they force cost-cutting on it and it makes crappy cars, or they just buy it and ignore it, and the smaller company is no better off.

But Geely had been clever with Volvo, giving it the money it needed to turn around, while not forcing it to be something it isn't. They're gradually integrating it into the rest of the company, with plans to build Volvos in China, but being patient. It's reminiscent of how India's Tata has turned around Jaguar Land Rover, so perhaps rising Asia will be good for western brands after all.

Lotus certainly needs that sort of treatment. They were owned and mismanaged by GM, who had them build a - I can barely say it - a front-drive sports car. Then they were owned by Malaysia's Proton, who didn't seem to know what to do with it. Then they had a CEO who announced an ambitious slate of new cars they couldn't afford to put into production. Since then they're been treading water, offering an endless stream of "new" special editions of their existing cars.

So stable and wise ownership is just what they need if they are going to stay in business long enough for me to earn enough money to buy one. I'm even okay with the fact that they'll probably end up building an SUV. But now, I'm just getting used to the fact that I apparently have an opinion on Chinese cars. Geely rules, Chery, BYD, um... Dongfeng drools.

Tomorrow I'll Be Perfect

I once read one of the What Color Is Your Parachute books. In trying to explain how to find your ideal career, the author related an incident where he was advising a client. He asked the client to find three things he really enjoyed, and the three he chose were psychology, gardening and carpentry. A little research showed that there is a branch of psychology that deals with plant therapy, thus combining the client's top two interests. The author then points out the need for wooden shelves to hold the plants.

When I read that, I wasn't sure if that was the dumbest or most brilliant thing I'd ever seen. I mean, surely you could combine those interests in a less literal way. Like if you're interested in carpentry, it's probably not just exposure to wood that you're looking for; it's probably a more abstract working with spatial ideas, or honing a craft. Surely you could find those things in some other, less contrived career.

But at the same time, I secretly was jealous. I mean, wouldn't we all love to be working in a job that combined our favourite things? Doing something you love would be great, but this would be better, since you could never get bored, or come to resent that one activity. Curse you, modern economy, for not providing a job that combines political punditry, driving, and watching sports!

And strangely, it was watching sports that made me think of this passage from the book. During a baseball game, the commentators informed us that the Dodgers' Cody Belanger was the only player in the Major Leagues to hit a home run in every possible count this season. That is, there are twelve possible counts of balls and strikes, and he had hit at least one homer while in each of them.

At this point, I asked the question every modern sports fan asks from time to time: how the hell do they come up with these stats?

But between my knowledge of sports and computers, I can understand it. If a person has a strong knowledge of both sports statistics and databases I think it would be pretty believable that they could come up with oddball facts like that. You have an inkling about a possible statistical point of interest, compose it into a database query and check it out.

Of course, that means having a great interest and expertise in two different areas. But if you do happen to fit the qualifications, then it's your perfect job. Those are some pretty specific requirements, but then, there won't be many openings for it either, so this occupational serendipity is pretty rare. That's unfortunate; wouldn't you love a world where everyone got to work in a job so perfectly tailored to them? I'm still looking, so I'll have to go back to the book.

The Royal Weed

I have to admit a little bit of Schadenfreude when I found out that the soon-to-be-legal pot in Ontario will be sold through a small number of government-owned stores. I mean, I've always supported legalization, so that's good. But the government-owned stores concept gives me mixed emotions.

Just to be clear, I think this is a dumb decision by the government. It's essentially replicating Ontario's traditional way of selling alcohol in government stores. That never made sense to me: Alcohol isn't really dangerous enough to require such oversight, the government-run stores did nothing to keep alcohol out of the hands of minors, and for some reason, we're totally okay having private companies sell tobacco. And of course, we're now moving away from that approach in alcohol, selling it in grocery stores. That change, and the complete lack of a societal collapse resulting from it, would seem to show that the old approach was wrong, and we know it.

The decision to sell pot through government stores also makes little sense politically. Premier Wynne and government may be looking at this as a compromise between a ban and complete deregulation, so it will be a good way to sell the public on a change not everyone in comfortable with. But I think it's more likely to cancel-out support. Libertarians will hate the government control. Social conservatives won't be placated because they've been taught that pot is the creation of Satan, so careful distribution of the creation of Satan will seem no better. And even left-leaning people like me will see the move as paternalistic, rather than socialist.

Further, it looks like Wynne is developing a Hillary-Clinton-like anti-cult where a large segment of society has decided that they just don't like her or anything she does, not really sure why, but it couldn't possibly be sexism, really, I'm sure. As such, trying to reach a please-everyone compromise is impossible; people will just focus on what they didn't get, because the narrative is that everything Wynne does is bad. It doesn't really make sense for her to try to grab the centre; she'll find little traction there. She'd be better off trying to prove here bona fides to the left where more people will give here a chance.

But I am having a bit of Schadenfreude for Canada's prince of pot, Marc Emery. See, I've been waiting years for a chance to talk about him so that I could point out that I've actuality met him. After bragging about this to someone, that other person would then ask, "how did you meet him?" And I'd reply, "he spoke at my high school."

Okay, he technically spoke at our model U.N. assembly, invited by a school that was drifting towards the proto-alt-right. Back then, Emery wasn't concentrating on legalizing marijuana; he was just a general hard-core libertarian. For me, that was the beginning of a lifetime of finding extreme libertarianism both fascinating and scary. It's like how you might enjoy mob movies, but then you find out that people actually look up to their characters and suddenly it's not so much fun.

So I've taken note whenever Marc Emery's name has come up, as he's moved out west and taken marijuana as his life's cause. Living in Vancouver, he won't have to care about Ontario's nanny-state pot stores. But I'd like to think that his head did explode just a little bit when he heard about it.

Can't Get Enough Of That Overthinking Commercials

Today at the grocery store, I happened to see a box of Sugar Crisp cereal, with its cartoon bear mascot, Sugar Bear. That bear has been around forever; I remember him trying to sell my generation cereal, now he's back for our kids.

I found him a little confusing as a child. I remember he started off as a normal anthropomorphic bear. Then they introduced the idea that eating Sugar Crisp made him into some sort of super bear. Okay, fine, we have the transforming hero trope. Even we youngsters had been introduced to that through Popeye. In Popeye's case, it was based on eating nutritious food, while Sugar Bear just had some sort of epic sugar high.

But at some point they seemed to forgo the transformation concept, and just had Sugar Bear be super powerful all the time. That seemed like a cheat. Even back then, I could see that the trade-off of this trope is that the hero has powers to defeat his foes, but also had normal human (or ursine) weakness. You can't just discard that and have him be some sort of all-powerful ultrabear who, for some reason, only battles enemies that threaten our cereal supply.

I wasn't sure if I remembered all this correctly - it's not like I actually ate Sugar Crisp. I prefered Cheerios, which only had that bee in the ads. He didn't introduce challenges to story-construction theories; his only problem was being short a couple of limbs. But it hit me: this over-formalized analysis of pop culture that used to just exist in my head, but now I often see it in another place too: Wikipedia. So I looked it up there, and sure enough, it very earnestly explained that in the mid-to-late 1980's, the super bear concept was dropped for a bear that simply had a "vitamin-packed punch."

Also, it turns out that it's only here in Canada that it's still called Sugar Crisp. It's become "Golden Crisp" in the U.S. to avoid association with sugar. But apparantly we don't worry about that. I'm not sure what that says about our respective countries.

It's Beginning To Look A Nice Tasteful Amount Like Christmas

This week I was in a mall, and as is now expected in late November, Christmas is in full swing. Halloween is gone, and some people respectfully hold back until after Remembrance day. In the U.S. they still have Thanksgiving, and of course the second most important date on the capitalist calendar, Black Friday. But for us, there's no holding back on the Christmas decorations.

The Santa enclosure was up, though it wasn't inhabited yet. I guess the Santas have a strong union if they're not forced onto the job until later. Or perhaps it's the amount of exposure to screaming kids, there's probably some sort of health regulations about that. So for now, there's just a strange Christmas labyrinth ending at an empty chair.

Of course, I'm not a fan of starting Christmas as early as possible. I'm not against Christmas, I just find that a month is more than enough of it for me. So I was surprised when I found that I wasn't annoyed at all the early signs of the holiday season. For once, I wasn't feeling like I was trying to survive an unregulated psychological experiment. It was actually kind of enjoyable.

I realized why when I was looking at some felt snowmen and it suddenly hit me how unusual it was to be seeing Christmas decorations without the accompanying music. Yes, the mall was still playing its usual non-threatening oldish pop soundtrack. Some might find it culturally confusing to be walking among random sprigs of holly to the sound of lesser Rick Astley tracks, but it came across as much less pushy to me.

Like I say, I don't mind Christmas, I just find it difficult to take such a long, uninterrupted period of not being able to get away from it. But this weakened, partial Christmas allowed me to genuinely enjoy it. To me, this is how a sane society would celebrate its biggest holiday: lots of celebration, but without losing sight of everything else in existence.

So I'm going to try to enjoy Christmas during this brief, early period. All too soon it will strengthen into a category-5 holiday, and I'll have to retreat into my curmudgeonliness. But for now, Merry Mid-November.

Things The Teenage Me Would Never Have Believed About Life In The Future, #38

There will be a World Cup where Iceland qualifies but not Italy.

Mass Romantic

You know how May 4th has become Star Wars day? Well fans of the epic sci-fi video game Mass Effect are trying to do the same thing with November 7th. See, the top level that a soldier can reach in the game's universe is N7, so that code appears on a lot of equipment and clothing in the game. Gettit? N7 : November 7th? Okay, it's even flimsier than the "May the fourth" pun, but it gives me the opportunity to tell you about my insights from playing the game. Now don't worry, non-geeks, this entry will be full of social commentary, not esoteric nerdery.

For non-geeks, it might be hard to explain the game's appeal. After all, you're playing a future soldier defending the galaxy from killer aliens, which is about the dorkiest premise you could imagine. But you know how there comes a point in every child's growth when they realize that "action figures" and "dolls" are really the same thing, and it's your choice how you play with them? Well that's where Mass Effect is, at the border between the two.

In between shooting aliens, you get to talk to, befriend, or argue with your fellow shipmates. And you can even sleep with them - oh, I'm sorry, "romance" them, in the parlance of the game. This human interaction seems to be a big draw for the franchise.

I've gone on Pinterest, where I've found a lot of creative work based on the game: humour, artwork, headcannons, and cartoons extending the series. I've discovered a few things: first, I can read Mass Effect comics all day, and second, that the interpersonal relations between the characters are what fascinates many fans.

And that leads to an interesting aspect: Your character in the game is a "Commander Shepard," but you can choose to make that "John" or "Jane" Shepard. According to research by the game's maker, Bioware, more than 80% of players choose the male version. Yet, a look through The cartoons on Pinterest shows most of them with a female lead. So that tells you something about Pinterest's user base, as well as who the hard core fans are and what they like.

I've played the game through as both genders, which has lead me to an interesting perspective. As a male, I could choose romantic partners based on my real-life preferences. But as a woman, the romantic side of the game offers a challenge. I could have decided she's a lesbian and approach it the same way as I did as a male, but that just seemed like such a cheesy, dorky, guy-thing to do. So I decided to make her straight, and just choose a partner that fit the character, like some interstellar yenta.

This brings up a subtlety of video games: do you regard the character you portray as an embodiment of yourself, or as a separate person that you are guiding through the game, sort of like you do in The Sims? Essentially, I was doing the former as a male, but the latter as a female.

Anyway, in the second game, I was going to match her up with Jacob, the brave but slightly bland soldier. But then while talking with Garrus, the gruff sniper, the game offered me some flirtatious dialog options, and I thought, actually, he makes way more sense with her. So I "romanced" him instead. Matching them together is kind of surprising, since Shepard is human, while Garrus is from a vaguely bird/reptile/insectoid race. So I thought this relationship was a rather bold and open-minded choice.

Until I see the cartoons, and find out that this pairing is what pretty much everyone did. It seems women can't get enough of Garrus. Now that came as a surprise for me. No, not because Garrus is not human (I know enough geek lore to be aware of Kirk/Spock slash fiction.) The reason for my surprise is that usually when media creates a love interest for a female character, I find him unbelievable or transparent (yeah, I'm looking at you, Jess from Gilmore Girls! )

But in this case, I totally get it. There have been a few explanations for this character's popularity, but mine is that he is a new character archetype: the Principled Badass. Usually badass characters wind up being just that: bad and an ass. But Garrus manages to project the "dangerous" image without it seeming fake, or revealing a lack of morals.

In case you're thinking that this game has woken either latent homosexuality or a weird birdman kink, I want to be clear that this is nothing more than a bromance to me; If I were in the game's universe, I'd be happily playing the Archie to Liara and Tali's Betty and Veronica. But the game has given me insight and understanding of female attraction, and all it took was defeating a race of giant, unstoppable robots.